Make it a Habit: From false starts to lifestyle changes that last

Few people engage me for health coaching because things are going well. Most, driven by health concerns, have struggled to make and sustain lifestyle change. By the time we meet, their confidence in their ability to make — and especially sustain — change has eroded.

We perceive change as a linear process: We identify what we want to change, take the steps we know we need to take and things move in the right direction. When we feel motivated, and with this idea in mind, we often try to alter too much at once. We join a gym, reprogram our diet, start looking for a new job and dedicate ourselves to a new hobby. If we don’t feel motivated, we pressure ourselves to try regardless. Six months later, we berate ourselves for missing our goals and resolve to try again.

Here’s how you can go from struggling to succeeding.

Health vision and change talk

The last time you started a lifestyle change effort, did you set a vision for your best health? A best-health vision encapsulates why change is important and specifies what you hope to realize from it. When you encounter barriers — which is inevitable — referring to your best-health vision can be the catalyst for continuing when you feel like giving up.

Your best-health vision doesn’t have to be TED Talk-worthy or take long to prepare. It does have to motivate rather than induce fear. And it has to offer a long-term perspective.

Contrast these two health visions: “I want to be active and able to play with my young children as they grow up,” and “I don’t want my health to get worse so I’m a burden to my family.”

Which would motivate you?

A big part of my coaching work is helping people set and realize goals that will get them closer to their best-health vision. What differentiates goals attained from goals missed is change readiness, so I listen for change talk.

If you tell me you want change to happen “someday,” you might not be ready to start today. Conversely, if you’re ready to take steps toward specific goals now or within the next 30 to 60 days, you’re change-ready.

Optimism and breaking through barriers

Goal attainment happens when we feel optimistic. When we try to change, encounter barriers and goals go unmet, we lose confidence.

We may be forcing change before we’re ready. We also could be pursuing the wrong goal — something that doesn’t align with what we value or believe is important in our lives. Or our goals may be too big to accomplish in the time frame we allowed.

Framing goals as experiments rather than targets met or unmet can help close that gap.

Recalling past examples of successful change also boosts our optimism: If we’ve done it before, we can do it again. And considering a different goal may make all the difference.

More than anything else, remembering our best-health vision — the reason we’re working to realize the goals we set — is often what motivates us to continue the change process.

In my next column, we’ll look at when — or if — to consider the change process complete.